Note to Self

Having a hard time deciding what to be when you grow up? Learn from a pro. Study somebody who's talented and worked their ass off for years and years, who's finally getting long overdue, deserved praise. Watch any TINA FEY interview.

Now, don't beat yourself up. "Compare and despair." She's the exception rather than the rule. Though, thankfully, exceptions do pop up every now and then. And she's the type to be flattered by the compliment and humble accepting it. But nobody's perfect. Except, maybe, TINA FEY.

Goal: Some day, in the near future, I, Shannon Eileen Ennis, will have a long, substantive conversation with Tina Fey. And it won't be about how I repeatedly defy the restraining order. It'll be over coffee or white wine spritzers.

Goal: Strive to be the same kind of example for other female writer, performer, actor, comedian folk. Talk the talk, walk the walk. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Best Casting Rumor Ever

Rumors are circulating that Idina Menzel may be cast as Lea Michelle’s (Rachel’s) Mom on GLEE.

I'm gonna let that stay out there a sec. I slid off my couch in response, so feel free to just let yourself go.


OK. How fabulous is that? I'm sort of, well, gleeful about it. But--and this is so just a tiny, tiny little but--in response to the rumor, Idina’s husband, Taye Diggs, said that he and his wife “are just so happy to see a lot of these theater kids get the opportunity to do some television work.”

Hey, Taye! You buried the lead! Forget about the B’way folks getting TV work. That’s been going on for 20-30 years! How about the future theater kids GLEE is inspiring? That’s the real story. The next Idina, the next Lea, is just starting their “in front of mirror” training thanks to GLEE. And it’s not just the superstars either. The next wave of sublimely talented men and women who will one day write, produce, design, light, costume and inspire another generation is watching GLEE, too.

And that’s why I’ll pray this evening, on my fucking knees, that God allows what is today’s rumor to become tomorrow’s fact. A-(Seriously, God please, please, pretty please!)M-E-N!

Shame Motivates

Indeed it does. Just took a late-night look at my most recent entries. Oy, mea culpa, readers, mea culpa. While the lack of updates and dull ass 'recent' entries reflect the kind of couple years it's been, my lack of updates belie how things are going lately. So it is with that acknowledgement that I promise to do better. Starting now. Sure, it may take be a few posts to get back into the swing of the blogosphere, to honor a page visit (or accidental click--sorry 'the shat speaks' fans!) with some worthwhile material. But I'm willing to get a little exposed. It's been too long.

Another promise that I will make public: this little midget will get back on stage in the close of '09 and dawn of '10. But seriously, I gotta ask you bitches to hold me to it. Don't let me wiggle on this one. Not only do I miss the feeling of a live mic in my hand, but I've got all this deodorant and no reason to over-apply it. Sweaters! Not the cashmere kind. I mean, where my fellow schvitzers at? Who danced when they saw prescription antiperspirant on the shelf? Can I get an "Amen!"? If Whitney's back, than so am I.

And if my therapist reads this, my real reason for doing stand up again is to a. maybe get laid, b. um, something something 'art' blah blah, 'gift' blah blah, 'joy' yadda yadda, c. just hopin' it'll cut down on the inappropriate shit I say at work.

Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years.

DSQUARED: Boots & Shoes I Want

I've got a birthday in a couple weeks. Don't hurt yourself trying to come up with clever gift ideas. Either of these will do.  Please note that I'd prefer the boots in cordovan. Also, don't feel the need to spring for these on your own. I'm accepting contributions to Shannon's Well-Heeled Thirtysomething Fund starting...NOW.

7 Dirty Words

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock-sucker, mother-fucker and tits. Because I miss Carlin. Because I'm not a 'lady.' And because there's no such thing as a dirty word.

Much The View About Nothing

Ten bucks says that Rosie and Barbara are IMing each other non-stop and LOLing their asses off. If I had a variety show premiering the day before Thanksgiving, the biggest bar holiday next to St. Paddy's Drunken Fest, I'd punch my own mother in the face for some publicity. Everyone and their brother will be at the local watering hole, catching up with friends, griping about relatives and ingesting car bombs. No one's scouting the TV guide or channel surfing. So my money's on The View matriarch's latest sound bite feud with her former colleague being a hoax, a stunt, a way to get Billy Bush and Mario Lopez's overpaid lips a-buzzing. One question remains: Will Rosie's well-timed PR skirmish translate into viewers? You tell me Joe Six Pack. Does that loudmouthed fat dyke (a typical description, one O'Donnell herself mocks openly) getting into another fight make you want to watch her new show?

Truthfully, I don't think it's a stunt at all. Two enormously accomplished women are sniping at each other on the talk show airwaves and it's ruining my appetite for turkey. Ladies, how about a little restraint? Rise above this kind of display. 

Twitter and Widget

Twitter and widget are my new favorite words. Well, they're terms really. Any word that translates into 'more people listing to me' turns me on. Big time.