Spitty Payback
Yesterday Michael A. Smith hacked a loogie into the face of Jane Fonda while she was on tour in Kansas City promoting her autobiography. Immediately following his goopy release, he turned in the opposite direction and ran. Cons, neo-Cons, military enthusiasts, Jesus freaks, Limbaugh lovers, Dubya dinks and crabby-because-of-their-hard-arteries old people have a new hero.
Jane Fonda’s just-published memoir, "My Life So Far, covers a wide array of topics, including her 1972 visit to Hanoi to protest the Vietnam War, during which she was photographed on a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun. She has apologized for that photo, but not for opposing the war. The gall of that bitch to visit enemy troops and humanize them! Typical behavior for a Liberal hippy slut.
Smith, a Vietnam veteran, told The Kansas City Star on Wednesday that Fonda was a "traitor" and that her protests against the war were unforgivable. He said he normally does not chew tobacco but did so Tuesday solely to spit juice on the actress.
"I consider it a debt of honor," he told The Star for a story on its Web site, www.kansascity.com. "She spit in our faces for 37 years. It was absolutely worth it. There are a lot of veterans who would love to do what I did." First, no actual spit intentionally left Jane’s mouth in Vietnam circa 1972. Second, I can assure Mr. Smith that the veterans, too many to number, who were wounded in Vietnam wouldn’t want to do what he did. Most of them couldn’t run away.
Ms. Barbarella herself received two standing ovations: one when she came out and one when she finished speaking. And after the Phlegm Incident, the actress never got up from her seat and continued autographing books after the tobacco juice was wiped off.
"The important thing is that she was so calm and so gracious about it," an observer noted. "She was wonderful." Jane pulled off yet another brilliant performance.
Now, on to what’s been up my ass about this since I read the story yesterday afternoon. When I do something I consider my honor and duty to do, I stand there and take responsibility for what I've done. Normally I’m beaming with pride and can barely contain my excitement for the ass bussing to begin. But should I be on the receiving end of credit or criticism (smiles and applause vs. a royal ass-reaming, ego deflation), I stick around. Running away, as was the case with Mr. Smith the Killa Spitta, indicates shame, not pride.
Did Smith think he’d jog all the way to the local V.A. and brag about his triumph? “Hey, fellas, I got even with Hanoi Jane for us. I fuckin’ spit on her!” And the other vets would respond, “What a hero! You paid a debt of honor today, Mike! Here, take our medals, please.”
TO MR. SMITH and ALL HIS FANS:
Jane Fonda did not spit in anyone's face 37 years ago, but rather, she simply spoke her mind, something--ladies, take special note--people should never do if their opinions aren't yours, aren't mainstream and could be volatile or potentially controversial, right? Reason dictates that you need not agree with a word she said, nor do you have to buy her book, nor are you required to insist upon fueling a very old and dangerous fire. But please, recognize that common sense suggests you have the decency and respect to keep your bodily fluids to yourself. Spitting on a lady and running away are the actions of a child and a coward. Wait, I take that back. Pussies do what you did, my fellow American. It was a total pussy plan.
Speaking of spit in the face, I’d like to burn an American flag for no reason other than the fact that the Constitution says I can. Smith and cronies hate it when we crazy, disrespectful liberals do that. It’ll be my own little debt of honor. Yeah! Come to New York, try to put the fire out with your spit, captain dickface. There’s no such thing as an un-American American.
Sincerely, though, to every veteran--yes, you too, Mr. Michael Smith--and to each man or woman currently in uniform, in or out of harm’s way, thank you for defending my freedom. Now let's party like it's 1776.
posted by Shannon E. Ennis at
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Jane Fonda’s just-published memoir, "My Life So Far, covers a wide array of topics, including her 1972 visit to Hanoi to protest the Vietnam War, during which she was photographed on a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun. She has apologized for that photo, but not for opposing the war. The gall of that bitch to visit enemy troops and humanize them! Typical behavior for a Liberal hippy slut.
Smith, a Vietnam veteran, told The Kansas City Star on Wednesday that Fonda was a "traitor" and that her protests against the war were unforgivable. He said he normally does not chew tobacco but did so Tuesday solely to spit juice on the actress.
"I consider it a debt of honor," he told The Star for a story on its Web site, www.kansascity.com. "She spit in our faces for 37 years. It was absolutely worth it. There are a lot of veterans who would love to do what I did." First, no actual spit intentionally left Jane’s mouth in Vietnam circa 1972. Second, I can assure Mr. Smith that the veterans, too many to number, who were wounded in Vietnam wouldn’t want to do what he did. Most of them couldn’t run away.
Ms. Barbarella herself received two standing ovations: one when she came out and one when she finished speaking. And after the Phlegm Incident, the actress never got up from her seat and continued autographing books after the tobacco juice was wiped off.
"The important thing is that she was so calm and so gracious about it," an observer noted. "She was wonderful." Jane pulled off yet another brilliant performance.
Now, on to what’s been up my ass about this since I read the story yesterday afternoon. When I do something I consider my honor and duty to do, I stand there and take responsibility for what I've done. Normally I’m beaming with pride and can barely contain my excitement for the ass bussing to begin. But should I be on the receiving end of credit or criticism (smiles and applause vs. a royal ass-reaming, ego deflation), I stick around. Running away, as was the case with Mr. Smith the Killa Spitta, indicates shame, not pride.
Did Smith think he’d jog all the way to the local V.A. and brag about his triumph? “Hey, fellas, I got even with Hanoi Jane for us. I fuckin’ spit on her!” And the other vets would respond, “What a hero! You paid a debt of honor today, Mike! Here, take our medals, please.”
TO MR. SMITH and ALL HIS FANS:
Jane Fonda did not spit in anyone's face 37 years ago, but rather, she simply spoke her mind, something--ladies, take special note--people should never do if their opinions aren't yours, aren't mainstream and could be volatile or potentially controversial, right? Reason dictates that you need not agree with a word she said, nor do you have to buy her book, nor are you required to insist upon fueling a very old and dangerous fire. But please, recognize that common sense suggests you have the decency and respect to keep your bodily fluids to yourself. Spitting on a lady and running away are the actions of a child and a coward. Wait, I take that back. Pussies do what you did, my fellow American. It was a total pussy plan.
Speaking of spit in the face, I’d like to burn an American flag for no reason other than the fact that the Constitution says I can. Smith and cronies hate it when we crazy, disrespectful liberals do that. It’ll be my own little debt of honor. Yeah! Come to New York, try to put the fire out with your spit, captain dickface. There’s no such thing as an un-American American.
Sincerely, though, to every veteran--yes, you too, Mr. Michael Smith--and to each man or woman currently in uniform, in or out of harm’s way, thank you for defending my freedom. Now let's party like it's 1776.
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