Rosie's Pissed...Again

"Ian McKellen, you come out when you're 92 and you're going to cast blame at me? Fuck you and your Sir Knighthood. I was so pissed at him. And he sent me a letter, 'I hope you're all right,' ... and I thought, 'You know, sit and spin, fucking prick.' I'll never speak to him the rest of my life. I could give a shit about Ian McKellen, and his little judgment of everyone else. I really could. Who is he?"
-- Rosie O'Donnell to the Boston gay newspaper Bay Windows, March 10.

Umm, at least he can act. He's a MALE ACTOR who came on the public scene in the 60s and 70s! I doubt his saying, "I love the cock," would inspire a producer to reply, "Good for you. Would you like to play Lear?" What was your excuse, comedian/talk show host/Madonna's buddy? You sure went out of your way to tell us how much you loved Tom Cruise and thought he was a cutie patootie. I don't recall Ian McKellen bragging about how he had the hots for Maggie Smith and Judi Dench, but just couldn't decide who he wanted to bang more.

As someone who used to defend you, I officially give up. Can't you just shut your trap about who you hate, who did you wrong, and how you'll be pissed forever? It's the vitriol you're spewing that people can't stand. So many stereotypes are reinforced b/c you come off as a crazy, angry dyke (which you apparently are), thus rendering it impossible, even absurd, to speak truthfully on your behalf.

For so many years, Rosie, you smiled real wide and played the game. You got yourself a talk show, worked hard for your well-earned success, and you helped a lot of people along the way. Children charities galore, the Broadway community, breast cancer awareness and so much more. Your generosity was unparalleled, limitless.

Then, you came out. And it wasn't just the closet you left. Whether you did it intentioanlly b/c you were just tired of kissing ass, or it was a planned departure, your daytime TV manners got locked up in that closet all by their lonesome. That obsequious "like me, like me" persona was replaced with the smart-ass Rosie from your stand-up days, and we re-embraced you. Maybe a lot of America's housewives were devastated by the trasformation (which was not a 180, but actually a return), but the queer-'mos were damn happy. For a while. We'd always known you were one of us, a sailor on Dinah's Shores, and we welcomed you to the family. You were all there for everyone to see, The Queen of Nice, out loud and proud.

But you wouldn't shut up. Every time you opened your righteous and indignant trap, more and more of us just rolled our eyes. Morally superior, condescending and abrasive communication appeals to no one. In that sense, you're no better than Falwell and cronies. Sure, many of us paying attention noticed that you weren't getting ANY help from "the media." Who could forget that picture with you in mid-shout, bad hair cut and everything, that everyone from THE NEW YORK TIMES to the NATIONAL ENQUIRER to NEWSWEEK and THE ADVOCATE published over and over?

Lately, though, it seems as though you don't like anybody. Kirstie Alley? You hate her b/c you think she's fatter than she admitted to being. Wow! Stop the presses. Her copping to the considerable weight gain, and having done so with humor and deflated ego, poking fun at herself at every opportunity ("I'm going to fuck Kid Rock.") has had a powerful impact on women's perceptions of body image. Is admiting to carrying another 40 pounds of more value than that? Oh, and do you really want to hurt him? Why are you and Boy George on the outs? Everyone knows that bitchy English queens are difficult to work with, but you guys put a show on Broadway together. That's an amazing shared experience, like donating a kidney or experiencing multiple orgasms at the exact same time.

Finally, your recent refusal to promote Riding the Bus With My Sister on Letterman baffles me. You blew off an opportunity to ask viewers to give your Hallmark Hall of Schlock a shot because they didn't take you up on your offer to host the show when Dave was ill? Welcome to show business, Ms. O'Donnell. When you're hot, you're hot and when you're not, they don't ask you to take the place of a late night legend in the making. Now, were any of the guest hosts better than you would have been? Not really. But who cares? Instead of crying to the press years later, let it rest. It's their loss. For someone who's got a buttload of money, who never has to work a day in her life ever again, who is newly married to the woman of their dreams and who has the family life she fought tooth and nail for, why do you go out of your way to moan about some conspiracy-theory-type slights? Shut up and smile like you mean it.