CHOCOLATE is the song I hear now

Ever stayed at work late on a beautiful Fall Friday? Sun shining, weekend waiting, yet you can't gather enough motivation to leave, can't lift out of your not-at-all comfortable chair and go somewhere. I could go on amazon or half.com and find some CDs I think I need--er, want. Or I could do all kinds of unhealthy internet based shit. Search any of the 'singles' websites, only to be reminded that it's depressing fishing. I was thinking of google searching chicks I thought were hot in high school. OK. I didn't think about it, I did it. Only one chick in particualr. Then I gave up b/c I'm not too far gone. Maybe I could surf for shoes. Oy. I am jonesing for a new pair of loafers, black, casual. Actually, I'm just jonesing. And that's OK. At least I know I'm doing it. Two years ago, I'd have bought something I couldn't afford, actually, two or three things, then I'd hit the nearest Happy Hour to chill out, overmedicate and falsely assure myself that I deserve rewards. Hence, my willingness to not do anything, because I've done worse.

Remind me to tell the tale of the crack house, head injury, hung out in "the projects" story. I'd do it now, but I can't remember the main dude's name. Troy? Wayne? Diddy? I always forget it. But I'm the only one who does. Everyone else remembers, bless their little hearts. If I need a quick dose of humility, I'll ask one of my friends to recount a memorable episode from As The Shan Turns. They all start, "Oh, shit. Remember that one time you..." Then they reveal my secrets in detail, none of which I recollect. Guess they're not secrets then.

Wait. I just looked at my Nike pants and shoes. It just hit me. Go home and ride your bike, Shan. Then have a reasonable dinner at a reasonable hour. Then watch Angie on TV, and go to bed at a reasonable hour. When I was 23, I never used the word reasonable to describe any activity.

OK, I'm going b/c my most annoying and cigarette smelly co-worker--we'll call her Wet Dog--appeared to motivate me to leave. Thanks, Wet Dog! Good Wet Dog.