If I Can't Say Anything Nice, I Say It Slowly.

Ever call somebody a Streptococcal pharyngitis ass munch? I just did, in an email. Well, I told the guy I was writing that some other dude called him one. But it was MY insult. And it's awesome. I hope they fight.

Also, when describing the smell of a skank entering my office, I said "She stinks to high heaven, like wet paper bag, Cool Ranch Doritos and oysters on the half-shell. Low tide."

Sure, I'm tired as hell. But ain't nothing gonna keep my mean girl quiet.