Reese Stupid Spoon
Dear Miss Reese Witherspoon,
I saw the SAG awards last night. I laughed hard when they showed that clip of Jamie Foxx forgetting how to say the words last year.
I also saw that you won. And I listened to your acceptance speech. Cudos to you for your performance as June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line." You were great and I could hardly see that other guy's hairlip or cleft lip or birth defect thingy. However, don't think for a minute that anybody's fooled by your whole, "I'm just a simple girl from Tennessee," routine. If you do than you're more stupider than a real simple girl from Tennessee. Name me one wife and mother living in Memphis who has their own production company and I'll eat my words. There's not a soul alive above the Mason-Dixon line knows how to pronounce yer husband's last name. So, put a plug in it Ms. I Went to Stanford My Parents Are Doctors. I got a hunch you ain't never waited a table in yer whole life. Go tell that to the "Hustle and Flow" cast or that humble plumber guy from "Desperate Housewives."
PS - Please don't think I resent your wealth, success and beauty. Au contraire! I think it's awesome. Keep it up! Check out my website: www.reeserocksit.com I've got my fingers crossed that you get a Golden Statue named Oscar!
PPS - Who babysits your kids when you and Ryan go to pilates? Is this person big or strong? Has he or she expressed fear of tasers?
PPPS - What kind of puppy do your 2 little blond children like best? You know, in case somebody wanted them to help find his lost puppy.
From Your Biggest Fan,
STAN
posted by Shannon E. Ennis at
Monday, January 30, 2006
I saw the SAG awards last night. I laughed hard when they showed that clip of Jamie Foxx forgetting how to say the words last year.
I also saw that you won. And I listened to your acceptance speech. Cudos to you for your performance as June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line." You were great and I could hardly see that other guy's hairlip or cleft lip or birth defect thingy. However, don't think for a minute that anybody's fooled by your whole, "I'm just a simple girl from Tennessee," routine. If you do than you're more stupider than a real simple girl from Tennessee. Name me one wife and mother living in Memphis who has their own production company and I'll eat my words. There's not a soul alive above the Mason-Dixon line knows how to pronounce yer husband's last name. So, put a plug in it Ms. I Went to Stanford My Parents Are Doctors. I got a hunch you ain't never waited a table in yer whole life. Go tell that to the "Hustle and Flow" cast or that humble plumber guy from "Desperate Housewives."
PS - Please don't think I resent your wealth, success and beauty. Au contraire! I think it's awesome. Keep it up! Check out my website: www.reeserocksit.com I've got my fingers crossed that you get a Golden Statue named Oscar!
PPS - Who babysits your kids when you and Ryan go to pilates? Is this person big or strong? Has he or she expressed fear of tasers?
PPPS - What kind of puppy do your 2 little blond children like best? You know, in case somebody wanted them to help find his lost puppy.
From Your Biggest Fan,
STAN
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