Blogsploitation

THIS ENTRY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ITS TITLE. I just thought of it this morning when I was putting my pants on, thinking of film genres.

There's saying "No," and then there's saying "NO!" Personally, I feel like one, simple little "No" is enough. Qualifying that No, however, smacks of contempt rather than refusal.

"Never, ever, ever, ever." Ok, so that's never?

"Over my dead body." There's no obstacle stepping over a dead body. That one isn't even a threat. It's asinine and utterly stupid. Think of how freakin' easy it is to do whatever you want to a dead body. Pee on it. Smear it with peanut butter. Sell it to a medical school. Dress it up like Dolly Parton or Hitler. Position a dead finger in the dead ass.

"Not in a million years." Technology moves at rapid speed. I just might be alive a million years from now. What'll your excuse be then?

"When pigs fly out of my butt." Thank you, Wayne. Thank you, Garth.

"Nuh uh, muther f*!#$er!" Geez, Grandma. Take it easy. I only asked for the salt.

And so on.

Let's say you're in a grocery store in Kansas, and you ask a helpful employee, "Do you have fried chicken flavored ice cream?" Instead of giving you a simple "No," he/she will smile really wide and respond, "We sure don't." Hence the swift donkey punch.