A Responsible Marital Consumer

Having sex before marriage isn't a sin, it's a sales sample.

Before you buy a car, you test drive it. Before you try a new kind of food, you taste it. Before you get yourself a new bicycle, you ride it. Before you join a gym, there's a trial period. Before you invest in stock, you review that company with the intensity of a science geek. Go to any retail website and note that each product has a thorough, detailed description, an explanation of product features, measurements and pricing. These necessities are followed by Customer Reviews.

How many times have you been really excited about a purchase, taken the item home and discovered it's not at all what you wanted or what you thought it was going to be?

So when the voices of the Holy and Know Betters pipe up and tell you not to boink until the covenant is sealed, assure the well-meaning Apostles that your decision to take 'em for a spin was born from the voice of God. God told you, in no uncertain terms, to look both ways before you cross the street and to take the temperature of your sex life before you say, "Til death do us part." Marriage doesn't come with a money back guarantee.