Lookit What I Did!
I expect to be pat on the back for doing very basic adult tasks. For example, I actually did my taxes. On time, too. And I really want someone to say, "Alright, Shan. Way to go." I want the same sort of congratulatory wishes when I pay my phone bill. "Well done. Well done." As I write RENT in the memo section of a check I want to hear some damn golf claps.
Until you're about 2, everyone and their brother Oooohs and Ahhhs your every smile, fart, drool, step, even poop is praised. And until you're 10, you get congratulated when you read or spell words like 'chaos' correctly on a spelling test. Ladies, when we began to, well, you know, menses blah blah, we were welcomed into 'womanhood' with hugs and, in some families, cakes were baked for the occasion. And all we did was bleed, involuntarily!
Official statement: I would like to have all my oohs and ahhs rescinded. I'm 32 and single and relatively poor. I want my adulations NOW. I need them NOW. Something tells me that I'd have keept walking and pooping even if I never heard, "Ooooooh, look at you go! That's a big girl." In the interest of staying on this 'responsible adult' track, as a preventative measure, humor me. Please reply with Oooohs and Ahhhhs. Someone had better hug me or I'm gonna swipe some LIFESAVERS or gum.
posted by Shannon E. Ennis at
Monday, April 16, 2007
Until you're about 2, everyone and their brother Oooohs and Ahhhs your every smile, fart, drool, step, even poop is praised. And until you're 10, you get congratulated when you read or spell words like 'chaos' correctly on a spelling test. Ladies, when we began to, well, you know, menses blah blah, we were welcomed into 'womanhood' with hugs and, in some families, cakes were baked for the occasion. And all we did was bleed, involuntarily!
Official statement: I would like to have all my oohs and ahhs rescinded. I'm 32 and single and relatively poor. I want my adulations NOW. I need them NOW. Something tells me that I'd have keept walking and pooping even if I never heard, "Ooooooh, look at you go! That's a big girl." In the interest of staying on this 'responsible adult' track, as a preventative measure, humor me. Please reply with Oooohs and Ahhhhs. Someone had better hug me or I'm gonna swipe some LIFESAVERS or gum.
1 Comments:
Way to go SHANSTER!!! You have successfully posted a blog and spelled everything correctly too! FUCKIN Noice!!! You ROCK! If I could do shit like that I'd rule the world. Hey, I pay all my shit online, it's easier that way, you should too so that way you can email me right after you press the pay button and I can send you a golf clap. Personally, I don't need the pat on the back for that kind of stuff but, as I do use the internet to pay my bills, I was thinking it would be nice to be able to select your positive reinforcement. Perhaps when you pay your bill you get a golf clap and when I pay mine I would get like a 30 sec Web Cam show from some hottie. I think I'd long for my bills then. What do you say to that?
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Criscoluv, at 12:38 AM
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