What's NOT WRONG With this Picture?

Tom & Katie, frequent tabloid targets, who wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, nothing about this photo is telling me, "See? We're just a normal couple." I keep staring at this, trying to sort out my thoughts and it's hurting my brain. The Big Bang of all jokes is in there somewhere. I've got at least 10 or 12 begging to see the light of type and they're all trying to get out at once. Emancipation must have been a frenzy! I'm literally exhausted trying to figure out which target to strike first. There's too much happening here. The height material alone has me reeling.

Somebody's stylist had a breakdown. I'm distracted by Tom and his First Communion haircut. Is Katie trying to look like Tutankhamen, Boy King? Is she subliminally promoting museum visitation or a History Channel special?

They've swapped ages. She couldn't get a callback for Dawson's Creek in this getup but he could easily reshoot the ending of Risky Business tomorrow.

Actually, in another context, this could be in the News section of The Advocate with the caption : In a stunning progressive decision the Grove Hills board of education approved the first transgender prom date. Jake Notgayerson was permitted to bring 'girlfriend' Danny Betweenlegs to this year's event.

I broke a sweat just writing that. Phew! Give me 5 minutes...