HOORAY MIKA BRZEZINSKI!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WATCH THIS. PLEASE PLEASE SEE A JOURNALIST FED UP WITH PARIS HILTON NEWS. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IT'LL BE THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR WEEK.
http://zeitgeist.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/06/29/249575.aspx

The Shan wrote an actual "comment" on the msnbc site, and they posted it. The entire text follows:

I found out about this b/c it was the LEAD STORY in U.S. news updates as reported by RADIO WIMBLEDON. Between matches they will run a few quick news bits. I'm delighted to share this b/c it clearly illstrates the theory that when someone (in a position of some influence) finally stands up and says, "Enough," it makes a difference. How powerful the actions of one person! Mika, not since Edward R. Murrow has a television news personality shown such conviction.* Can you believe that the same brand of courage and defiance was once used as a weapon against political propoganda has now been used to fight the grand media darling, Paris Hilton? McCarthy vs. Paris: how low can we go?

I might bake that gal a cake.

*When I wrote this response, I had forgotten than Carol Marin of NBC news Chicago quit when they hired Jerry Springer to do commentary in 1997. That predates Brzezinski and it was pretty fierce, too.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Much to celebrate, bitches. Here a 3 quick reasons why you should perform a jig.

1. I killed at Caroline's on Monday. Here's a blurry picture of the domination in action. I like to think it's 'artsy' not blurry.

2. A coworker and I were discussing the fact that today is Tony Blair's last day in office. Everyday hysterical comedy birthed by the ignorance of your man-on-the-street ensued.

Check it out now:

"Who's Tony Blair" -anonymous coworker #1

"He's the Prime Minister of British Columbia." -anonymous coworker #2

3. Reaching the finish line first, by far the most fantastic news of this post, SOUTH OF NOWHERE Season 3 begins August 3rd! For yet another spectacular year, I get to repeat high school vicariously through scalding hot 20 somethings acting out trite teen lesbian drama. When I get excited about something, I giggle and have a hard time breathing. I'm like The Joker with asthma over here.

Stuff I Know

I'm impatient to the point where I will stand outside the microwave with ants in my pants whining, "Ugh, come on!" I rarely let it hit 0 and beep. When 2 seconds are left I'll hit stop b/c I just can't stand the wait.

When there's a line for the bathroom I have no ethical code. I will cut in line like a Mo Fo. Screw No-cuts-no buts-no coconuts. I gotta wiz NOW and mine need to empty the ole bladder is far more pressing than anyone else's. I'd knock my dead Grandmother out of the way.

I've heard people say,"It's not Adam and Steve, it's Adam and Eve," as their objection to homosexuality. They're so ignorant. It's Adam and Steven. Obviously they don't know any gay men. There's not a Mike or Bob among them, just Michaels and Roberts.

I look hot at weddings.

I'm not making this up

"Man, this thing is packed to the rifters!"

-Louie, a dude in my office, upon discovery of a full cabinet.

Mary Mary Why You Buggin?

I knew Botox was popular. It's use, prevalent use, does not surprise me. But it's one thing to know something and quite another to see it. Then I saw her face. Now, I'm a believer.

I am looking at a Botox overdose in the form of Mary Matalin on "MEET THE PRESS." I've seen burn victims exhibit more facial expression! She's trying to smile and it looks terribly painful. Her forehead WILL NOT wrinkle, not even a little mini brow line. She's been sandblasted by botulinum neurotoxin. You could set off a grenade 10 feet from where she stands and her "holy shit!" face would look eerily similar to her "eh, whatever, I'm sleepy" face.